A Personal Prohibition

Last night was a “thank god I still have my wallet, cell phone, and bag” kind of night. Bruises cover my body from some late night fisticuffs with my friend outside the Winter Garden, but that’s what happens after you see Jackass. I passed out awkwardly on the couch after eating a leftover fish sandwich from Maggie Browns while trying in vain to focus on Wedding Crashers which was playing on the television. When I woke, the fish sandwich, content with its brief four hour stay in my stomach, resurfaced, this time accompanied with beer and stomach acid. So that’s why I had the quick youtube post earlier. But I’m feeling mildly better now and have a new mission.

I’m going into training (stop laughing.) Exercise at least 4 times per week. No beer for one month. No more cigarettes, ever. I will chart my progress in this space. All of my successes, relapses, and boredom will be documented here. The hardest part will be the beer, followed closely by exercise, and then smoking. I enjoy the occasional beer and there’s really no way I’ll make it the whole month, but I’ll try. Although, I have five cold Modelos waiting for me when I get home, and who is supposed to drink those? Every Friday for the next 4 weeks I’ll post my progress, or more likely, lack there of, for your reading pleasure. Wish me luck

Here's a before video, and in 4 weeks you'll get the after.

Something to Tide You Over

Beep Baseball = Amazing

Check out this video story that appeared on ESPN.com today. This is great.

Kneecapped Question of the Week

This week's "Kneecapped Question of the Week" comes via this article on ESPN.com


Supply answers to kneecapped@gmail.com.

Reader Mail Answered Here!

Let's open the olde mail box and answer a rare letter, er, email. If you want to participate and have your email shown on our forum send it here: kneecapped@gmail.com

"Ever since going daily your posts pretty much suck balls. Why don't you just write when you have a funny story to tell or some news to report? Or why don't you go out and do things so you can write about interesting stuff instead of commenting on Yahoo! articles, the definition of Thursday, and Wikipedia? Don't you have better ways to spend your time? Your review of the Flaming Lips concert was despicable, 8 words!"

Stanley, Glenn Falls, NY

Thanks, Glen and a humble apology. The reason is because, mainly, I've been drunk. By the time I post mid-afternoon, scrambling for ideas, I'm down to the last sip of my 1/5 liter of SoCo. I like to chase that with 7Up, because 7Up is all natural. Then, in order to wash the booze smell off my breath and the taste of 7Up off my tongue I chase that with Black Haus.

The crippling strain of maintaining a daily blog has taken a toll on my psyche, no doubt. It has stretched my writing thinner than a hipster on a coke binge. But because of you, Glen, I’ll search high and low for amusing anecdotes to share with my small and uncomfortably critical, yet obsessive readership. I OWE this to you, my fans. With every fiber in my body a swear I will find the strength to write at least 100 – 150 words on the Backpack Kid A.K.A. Cheesy Mustache Guy that I promised you YESTERDAY. Thanks for reading, Glen, and for prying open my eyes, forcing me to acknowledge the dark, sulfuric depths that this blog is plummeting towards.

Best,
Knee

Wiki-Wednesday

It's Wiki Wednesday where I catalog five consecutive "random article" searches on Wikipedia to see what turns up. Last Week, I ended up getting three articles that could fall into the category of "geekdom" A comic book character, a full description of an item found in a role playing vampire game, and 1,000 words on Earthworm Jim of videogame fame. Leading to the question, who enters stuff on Wikipedia anyway? Also, although this feature first appeared on a Thursday post for the sake of alliteration I moved it to Wednesday. Here are this week's five:

Explodingdog - You don't understand how great it is when you're doing a random article search and the first article you get is "explodingdog" especially when this line is written next to it, "For dogs used as anti-tank weapons, see anti-tank dog." "Explodingdog" is a website that has to do with drawing on demand and sounds pretty cool, check out the link. The definition of "anti-tank dog" is too horrible to mention, but I recommend clicking on it as well.

Three places came up next, they are:

Choptank, Maryland Founded in the 17th Century!

Salon High School, Ohio Someone loves their high school; there are about 730 words here. Fun Fact: Salon High's three notable alumni are all football players. I checked to see if my high school was on Wikipedia and of course it was. There were no "notable alumni" listed, but I think Matt Leblanc went there. Or, did "Joey" knock him off the notable list?

Decatur, Michigan One more place in Michigan I'll never visit.

And lastly:

Buffalo Bob Smith The host of "Howdy Doody" and apparently, according to Wikipedia, that's all he ever did.

That's it we only do five random articles here on Wiki-Wednesday. But I'll leave you with pneumatic weapon. Tune in next Wednesday for more Wikipedia fun! Better yet, play at home and save me the time. Just kidding, I love Wiki-Wednesday! I invented the damn thing.

This Week in Bread & Circus

I saw this on Gawker via Rising Hegemon. The War in Afghanistan, is that thing still going on? Apparently, bad news on the War on Terror only sells in foreign markets.




Time counters with this:


This photo makes me feel icky and it dampers my urge to spend money.

A Kneecapped Review (The Flaming Lips)

As promised a review of The Flaming Lips show last night at Hammerstein. How to encapsulate a concert that had: balloons, confetti, Wayne Coyne in a hamster ball crawling right over me, Santa costumes, lasers, smoke, a cool-video-projector-microphone-cam-thing, a strong set, crazy lights, and an altogether groovy atmosphere in under, say, 5,000 words? I’m not sure, but here goes:

It was good. I really enjoyed myself.

Later, I'll post a review of the people at the show including the Backpack Kid A.K.A. The Cheesy Mustache Guy who almost drove me to violence all while Wayne Coyne spoke of the positive energy and love out in the audience. I'm not sure that it will top this last review but be sure to catch it.