Oh Snap! It's Ion's Take!

This week Ion tackles some serious issues that have been troubling him.

Rick and I went out last night, had a few beers at the local, as we try to do every week. We often talk about things of mutual interest. We discuss movies/music/books, reminisce about when we were younger, discuss the future and recount current events. One such event talked about was the shooting/killing of Sean Bell, the 23 year old groom to be who was gunned down by police this weekend. No one really knows the story at this point, how/why it happened. Still, it just seems as if a guy out for his bachelor party got wasted , got in a car, someone drove in the wrong direction, striking an undercover (unmarked) police vehicle, which set off a barrage of gunfire that left a 23 year old dead on the day of his wedding.

Now, this is fucked up for many reasons. Aside from the obvious police shooting to death an unarmed man, there are other questions. Such as, why did one officer fire 31 of those shots, reloading his gun twice? A fact such as this begs the question of is the average NYPD officer (and in this case, 12 year veteran) that poorly trained that they must fire that many rounds at close range to ensure they hit someone? Shouldn’t the policy be to disable a suspect so that they may be brought into custody and then tried with a crime if necessary? Isn’t a tenet of our legal system “innocent until proven guilty? Since when is it shoot to kill?

It's reminiscent of the movie Judge Dread in which cops were judge/jury/executioner. That movie sucked ass and so does the state of things. The sad reality is its always been that way. It was that way with Amadou Diallo and its been that way with many others. I don’t know what's more troubling, the fact that those who are supposed to protect and serve kill those the very citizens they swear to protect or the fact that there doesn’t seem to be repercussions when they do such things.

Tonight on my walk home I witnessed four officers questioning one black man who was pulled over while driving. I don’t know why he was pulled over, but as he was retrieving his license/registration/whatever all of them had their hands on their pistols. It was almost as if they were looking for a reason to draw their guns and fire. You hear about cop cars being called a “black and white”, but that shouldn’t necessitate the way police conduct themselves.

Best of Ion's Take

Ion couldn't be bothered with his Ion's Take today, so being that it's getting close to the end of the year and all I've compiled a Best of Ion's Take:

Ion's scathing argument against big trucks and the dickheads who drive them.

Ion's frustrated complaint about a stingy bartender.

Ion's whistle-blowing report on teachers who force their students to smuggle opium into prisons...oh, wait, that's not an Ion's Take. There are only two installments, but perhaps he will grace us tomorrow. If there's a god, he will.

Ion's Take - In the Shining Path of Monster Trucks

(The following line should be read in your best Morley Safer or Mike Wallace voice. RIP Ed Bradley.)

Ion's had it with all the with big trucks.

Why are big trucks not equipped with directional signals to let lesser cars know when they will change lanes? Why do big trucks tailgate you when you are already going 90 miles an hour? If they’re in such a big hurry , why aren’t they sports cars? Do drivers of big trucks realize that although they may drive a big truck to enhance their stature, they actually look much smaller behind the wheel of a big truck? Why are advertisements for big trucks so similar, regardless of the manufacturer? Instead of the ads showing big trucks driving to construction sites or herding cattle, why don’t they emphasize how easily the doors of big trucks can dent adjacent cars in parking lots or their ability to cover two lanes of traffic on most roadways? Why are big trucks so eager to demonstrate all the places they can go although they shouldn’t? Why are they the loudest vehicles out there? Why are they so brash and seemingly so eager to make a statement? Why do they consume so much fuel? Why do big trucks seem to embody the worst characteristics of our country?

Photo by Ion.

Ion did not give me permission to use this photo, I am assuming I have it. I hope not to be sued.

The Lack of Buybacks is Whack, Plus Ion's Take.

I’m writing today about buybacks, free drinks, comps, or whatever else you call them. A buyback is when you’ve drank a few beers (usually three to four), have tipped for these beers (I’m talking a dollar per drink, minimum,) are in a real bar (not a swanky lounge or some lame place like that,) and the bartender gives you a free beer. Sometimes they knock on the counter and place a new pint of what you ordered; sometimes they’ll just say, “On me.” A nice dive bar I’ve written about turns over a shot glass and stacks it on your tip pile to signify that the next one is “on the house.” It’s a little thank you for the tipping and for spending $5 a beer when you can just walk next door and buy a six pack for $7, okay $10. Buybacks are good business. To make a long definition short, buybacks are fucking fantastic.

So last night, at a nice local bar, my friend Ion and I meet up for drinks and encountered a stingy bartender of epic proportions. The bar is a place we go to with some frequency, as it’s the only option in the neighborhood, but it’s not like we’re close with the bartender, who’s a nice guy if not totally clueless. Tonight the bar has five people in it when we arrive. We order and drink our beer jollily and recount the excitement of our day.

Things are going swimmingly as the guy across from me gets his third whisky on the house. I order my third beer, “that will be five dollars.” My friend orders his third, “Five bucks.” No big deal, although that guy across from us got comped. I order my fourth beer, “Five dollars.” Okay, that sucks, should have been free, whatever. I order my fifth beer, “five dollars, thanks.” Shit’s getting ridiculous, and I’m starting to take it personal. Twenty dollars and not a single buyback! He gave the whisky guy a buyback after TWO whiskeys, but I guess they were friends, apparently we’re shit. I order my sixth beer when Ion orders his fifth. The bartender walks over and says looking to me, “ok I got yours,” turns to Ion, “yours will be five bucks.” Fucking balls. At least he smartened up with me, but the rocks on this fucking guy for not comping my friend at the same time. You need to buy five beers before you get a free drink! You can’t even enjoy a sixth beer. Ion never got his free beer that he earned and deserved, and we left the bar defeated.

Tonight I’ll see how many steps you have to pass before you get a free sobriety token.

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Ion wanted to respond as well. His recap is much shorter and blunter than mine and I think you’ll enjoy. Without further ado, the first installment of Ion's Take.

Hey mister bartender, I've bought 6 beers without a buyback from you and I now think you are a douchebag. Actually, I thought you were a jerk after 4 beers, but this proves my point.