Fake Baseball Bets #9: We Ain't Going Nowhere We Ain't Going No Where We Can't Be Stopped

...Because it's Bad Boy for life! What, Puff Daddy's the greatest, maybe second greatest rapper of all time? I digress. I'm cranking the late 1990's early 2K shit-hop because we are on what is known in betting circles as a "winning streak." I'll tell you what, the sky maybe overcast this morning but every stratus cloud glistens with sliver. 

The Giants pulled off the win last night on the long, lanky arm of Randy Johnson earning Johnson his 299th career win. This was our personal favorite. The victory earned us 130 bringing the season total after ten wagers to +230 capps. We wish this were real money although if it were we would have quit last week when we were down 230. Gambling is a mercurial mistress.

It's a light Major League schedule today (see pitching form below). 100 capps on the Orioles to continue their winning ways as home underdogs against the Tigers at +120. 

Fake Baseball Bets #8: Back in Black

Back in black /I hit the sack / I've been too long I'm glad to be back / Yes, I'm let loose / From the noose / That's kept me hanging about / I've been looking at the sky / 'Cause it's gettin' me high / Forget the hearse 'cause I never die/ I got nine lives / Cat's eyes/Abusin' every one of them and running wild

- AC/DC

To quote our favorite ESPN personality Stu Scott, "BOOYA!" We are back in the black baby. Thanks to my main man Micah "Payings" Owings, the Reds won last night lifting us out of our hole at +80 capps. Actually, Owings didn't win the game, but we're on such a high right now who cares?

Today we're placing 100 on the Big Unit and the Giants as home underdogs against the Braves. This bet is going of at+130.

I've really enjoyed the Randy Johnson era. Hated him when he faced the Sox, but he and Mr. Snappy have put on quite a show for 22 seasons. My favorite moment was Johnson throwing over Larry Walker's head in the 1997 All-Star game, followed by a wry smile and wink. Walker then flipped his helmet around to bat right handed eventually striking out on 4 pitches. I couldn't find a video of this (what's the deal YouTubers?) so I've settled for another bizzare Johnson moment.

Reminds me of the recent Red Bull air race:

Earoin - The Field - Yesterday and Today

Have you ever dreamed of blacking out all the windows, moving all the furniture up against the walls, snorting black-tar heroin and then listening to amazing music while lying limp in the middle of the floor? 

Oh, you have! (And thank God for that because that first sentence is one scary cry for help, but now that I have some enablers...) Well, there's some good news for you. In case you happen to be "married" or need to "hold down a steady job" there's an album you can listen to that will give you the same sensation as the above, but without the insanity and drug abuse. It's The Field's new album Yesterday & Today and it's pure, black-tar Earoin (get it?) just shipped in from Sweden. Enjoy.

A Picture is Worth a Thousand Horrifying Words

Natalie Cole burst onto the Red Carpet at the Grammy Awards looking like a zombie walking out of a botox clinic shortly after getting a boob job. Words do not do this picture justice. The face looks okay, but the rest is just weird.

Kneecapera

Opera has been my life the past few days so here's a Simpson's tribute to Mozart:

The Russian Spy Case Just Got a Little Hipper

This link on the Yahoo! wire caught my eye:

Interpol is on the case! Now, I'm no genius but I'm pretty sure Interpol and their brand of New-New Wave melancholy-pop-rock are just the people to bring the sinister powers behind the Russian spy assassination to their knees.

Wow, that didn't take long. Here's Interpol moving in standard two-by-two cover formation. The group walks the beat, taking names, searching for clues, and looking stylish.

Shame, shame, shame. No rest for the weary, boys. There's a killer on the loose.No, sadly the killer is not in Williamsburg. Spread your wings Interpol the world anxiously awaits your findings!"They Caught This Killer with New-New-Wave-Melancholy-Pop Rock n' Roll!"
Writer's block makes you crazy.

Massive Attack - Roseland Ballroom, New York City, 10/5/06

I went to the Massive Attack show last night at Roseland and it fucking rocked, hard. I'm lucky I came out alive, what with the seizer inducing light show and heart-stopping bass. At one point , during the encore, with green and white lights flashing brighter than lightning and moving at a frenetic stomach-turning rate, as the hard guitars and bass screamed, I saw groups of people turning away from the stage, staggering out, but that beats throwing up all over a complete stranger or fainting in the middle of a crowed general admission audience. I was almost one of them, but I somehow made it out alive and in one piece.

They played all the songs I wanted to hear, Hymn Of The Big Wheel, Angel, Mezzanine, Rising Son, Butterfly Caught, Karmacoma, Safe From Harm, Unfinished Symphony, Inertia Creeps, I could go on. Horace Andy was in the house, he missed a few shows weeks back when his wife gave birth, his pipes still supporting his unequaled vocal style, even at age 55. That’s a fucking concert if you ask me. If not for the typical lame-ass, too-cool-for-school NYC crowd, the show would have been perfect. Here are some photos taken by my friend, Ion.

3D Shaddow Boxing












Grant "Daddy G" Marshall


















Horace Andy












Massive Attack














Photos courtesy of Ion, All Rights Reserved.

Television Rules My Concentration

In honor of my job kicking my ass today I give you Daft Punk's "Television Rules The Nation" via youtube

A Kneecapped Review (The Flaming Lips)

As promised a review of The Flaming Lips show last night at Hammerstein. How to encapsulate a concert that had: balloons, confetti, Wayne Coyne in a hamster ball crawling right over me, Santa costumes, lasers, smoke, a cool-video-projector-microphone-cam-thing, a strong set, crazy lights, and an altogether groovy atmosphere in under, say, 5,000 words? I’m not sure, but here goes:

It was good. I really enjoyed myself.

Later, I'll post a review of the people at the show including the Backpack Kid A.K.A. The Cheesy Mustache Guy who almost drove me to violence all while Wayne Coyne spoke of the positive energy and love out in the audience. I'm not sure that it will top this last review but be sure to catch it.

Wu-Tang Again!

Yes, a 6:30 Friday post. I'm trying out a new time slot. TGIF worked for ABC!

Ask anyone who knows me and most will tell you that I had a quite the affinity, er, obsession* with the Wu-Tang Clan in my younger days. It wore off when I reached my early 20’s, mainly because the group couldn’t reach the heights of 1993 – 96, and who can blame them? Not only is that the Golden Age of “East Coast” rap, but they were the coolest, strangest, and most talented group in the bunch. My appetite for all thing Wu-Tang was insatiable: trips into Boston to find WuWear (I didn’t get any), buying any magazine with them on the cover, that awesome (now embarrassing) day when I actually bought a C.R.E.A.M. shirt at Newbury Comics. These were my teenage years, for better or worse. By the time *NSYNC dropped No Strings Attached in 2000, giving birth to a new obsession, the Wu were all but a memory.

Well thanks to MySpace, The Wu-Tang Clan are more accessible than ever. Each member has their own page full of songs new and old. It’s been fun reacquainting myself with them. Their later stuff wasn’t as bad as I once thought, especially in light of the current “rap” offerings. During the past five years, Ghostface, for the most part, has carried the Wu-Tang torch, but I have to say Raekwon the Chef is stepping up his game with these two outrageous photos, enjoy:

This blows my mind. Check the copy of the Robb Report.


This is a new photo, I think it promoting his new album Only Built for Cuban Linx Part II (Which is delayed like all Wu albums)



* As proof of my obsession, while I was posting this very post you just read and enjoyed a co-worker came over and said, "Is that the Wu-Tang Symbol on your desk?" Next to me on my desk was a little doodle I had drawn during a meeting. The doodle was the Wu Tang symbol, still the only thing I can draw.

What Died and Landed On John Norris's Head?

I've been reading Gawkers coverage of the VMAs and haven't seen anything on MTV's John Norris.
Something has always bothered me about John Norris A.K.A. the poor man's Kurt Loder. Is it his relentless celebrity ass kissing? Or how he tries a little too hard to be cool? Maybe it's his overreaction to the most banal music news of the day? Or that somehow he still works for MTV despite never fitting in with the channel? Well, yeah, all of these things bother me I guess. But what really bothers me is the fact that he looks like the walking dead. Like a zombie, or a skeleton even.

But last night whatever that was on his head took things to a new level. That poofy, orange, Bobby Brady on crack wig(?). That clump of hair that resembles a slaughtered baby orangutan loosely attached to his scalp with theatrical glue. What was that thing? If that's a wig (it’s just got to be something like that, it’s not natural) his friends need to tell him to stop. If not I will.

Dear John,

John, stop. Just stop! Go bald, John. You’ve never been a looker. You’ve never been hip. MTV apparently doesn’t care about this. Go bald, John. You're 46 years-old, it's okay, just go bald. Anything is better than this.

Best,
Rick