A Thorrible Post (I'm Sorry)

Loyal reader(s), who I will now call THE FORCE, today is Thursday. For some of you this means going out and getting bombed, maybe playing a little beer pong, smoking the reefer, or hitting the crank. For others, Thursday means curling into a ball and crying because Friends is no longer on the air. But did you know that Thursday really means "Day of Thunor" or Thor? Yes, the reason Thursdays are so great is because its named after Thor, the hammer wielding Nordic diety popularized by Maia Brewton in Adventures in Baby Sitting.



So while you're drinking at Off The Wagon, taking part in the college ritual of "Thirsty Thursday", be sure to pour out a drop of Bud Light for your man Thor who made it all possible.

Child's Play Come True

I'm not one to make fun of other people’s appearance, but my friend sent me this picture from snopes.com today and...holy fuck! I think I just shit my pants.


His name is Brian Peppers. The bad news is, he's a sex offender. The good news is, he's registered.

What Died and Landed On John Norris's Head?

I've been reading Gawkers coverage of the VMAs and haven't seen anything on MTV's John Norris.
Something has always bothered me about John Norris A.K.A. the poor man's Kurt Loder. Is it his relentless celebrity ass kissing? Or how he tries a little too hard to be cool? Maybe it's his overreaction to the most banal music news of the day? Or that somehow he still works for MTV despite never fitting in with the channel? Well, yeah, all of these things bother me I guess. But what really bothers me is the fact that he looks like the walking dead. Like a zombie, or a skeleton even.

But last night whatever that was on his head took things to a new level. That poofy, orange, Bobby Brady on crack wig(?). That clump of hair that resembles a slaughtered baby orangutan loosely attached to his scalp with theatrical glue. What was that thing? If that's a wig (it’s just got to be something like that, it’s not natural) his friends need to tell him to stop. If not I will.

Dear John,

John, stop. Just stop! Go bald, John. You’ve never been a looker. You’ve never been hip. MTV apparently doesn’t care about this. Go bald, John. You're 46 years-old, it's okay, just go bald. Anything is better than this.

Best,
Rick

God I Love the 80s and F You VH1 for Making That Annoying

Troll 2

Here's a clip from one of the worst movies of all time. But if it was so bad then why have I seen it about 5 or 6 times? Oh right, HBO.

People Who Look Like People - John Mark Karr Edition

When I first saw pictures of creepy John Mark Karr I couldn't help but think I'd seen him before. Dead eyes, blank, lifeless, childlike expression (could come in handy for a guy like JMK), thinning hair, frail, meek body. Where had I seen these before? That's when it hit me. Time for another installment of "People Who Look Like People"

JMK looks like a gaunter, sweatier, slightly hairier, and pedophilier version of Karl Pilkington, the funniest man in England today and an absolute IDD-YOT.

No? Time to come clean, I'm not very good at this game.



What if I told you he reminded me of...

This really isn't fair to Fred Rogers (who I think is an icon), but JMK could be a younger, pedofilier, sweaterless, Mr. Rogers. They both liked kids, both were teachers, both talk(ed) a lot of make-believe? Huh, huh, get it? Will his story check out? Is JMK telling the truth? Eh, pretty good eh?

No. Really? Then I apologize.




I guess John Mark Karr doesn't look like anyone else. Unless, he's the sweaty man-love child of David Duke and Jeffery Dahmer? I heard Duke played catcher.


If you're still reading and want to read some blog commentary of John Mark Karr that's actually funny go here.

The Daily Dump stole the John Mark Karr media circus. He took the coverage and ran it into the end zone of high comedy. It's hilarious and you should check it out.