Come Up With Your Own Jokes, Gawker

I’ve made the big time. Gawker ripped off the easy and obvious joke that I wrote here yesterday.

Gawker wrote this:

“We're going to recommend that they go with the classic ‘he who smelt it
dealt it’ defense-- it's been working for us since first grade.”

Here's what I wrote:

"The City looks to blame New Jersey's silent-but-violent reputation. New Jersey counters by saying, 'Whoever smelt it dealt it.'"

Are fart jokes no longer sacred?

Code.TV Must Be Stopped Or At Least Humiliated As Much As Possible

Not to steal Gawker’s coverage of Pedro Andrade, but I found another Pedro restaurant/bar/club review. Check out his face when, after ordering the Strawberry Grey Martini, he finds out the drink contains not Grey Goose, but gin, the drink of peasants and the inherently un-hip. The “Grey” stands for “Earl Grey” which makes his drink, “taste like the mountains.” But he’s really disappointed, you can tell. He also winks in slo-mo at the camera about 57 times. Enjoy.

This Week in Bread & Circus

I saw this on Gawker via Rising Hegemon. The War in Afghanistan, is that thing still going on? Apparently, bad news on the War on Terror only sells in foreign markets.




Time counters with this:


This photo makes me feel icky and it dampers my urge to spend money.

Is It Too Late To Make Blogorrhea?

Just kidding, I'm not going to suck Gawker's cawker. Frankly, having that many people read this blog is intimidating. I've gone 28 years without being exposed as the fraud I am and I'd like to milk it for a few more. My MySpace was fuct up and I lost my friends, all 6 of them (including Tom and myself.) So I'll invite you guys back and I apologize for having to add me second time. I wanted to post for my one fan that sitemeter tells me is from Wayland - Geoff, thanks for reading. And since I'm posting so late in the day I'm going the youtube route. Here are some 80's commercials that you've probably already seen, now neatly packaged for your viewing pleasure:

Check the v/o on this baby


I really wanted to be this kid when I was younger

What Died and Landed On John Norris's Head?

I've been reading Gawkers coverage of the VMAs and haven't seen anything on MTV's John Norris.
Something has always bothered me about John Norris A.K.A. the poor man's Kurt Loder. Is it his relentless celebrity ass kissing? Or how he tries a little too hard to be cool? Maybe it's his overreaction to the most banal music news of the day? Or that somehow he still works for MTV despite never fitting in with the channel? Well, yeah, all of these things bother me I guess. But what really bothers me is the fact that he looks like the walking dead. Like a zombie, or a skeleton even.

But last night whatever that was on his head took things to a new level. That poofy, orange, Bobby Brady on crack wig(?). That clump of hair that resembles a slaughtered baby orangutan loosely attached to his scalp with theatrical glue. What was that thing? If that's a wig (it’s just got to be something like that, it’s not natural) his friends need to tell him to stop. If not I will.

Dear John,

John, stop. Just stop! Go bald, John. You’ve never been a looker. You’ve never been hip. MTV apparently doesn’t care about this. Go bald, John. You're 46 years-old, it's okay, just go bald. Anything is better than this.

Best,
Rick