A Record Setting Day

Yesterday, was a milestone day here at Kneecapped HQ. First, Kneecapped received its 2,000th visitor. Then, Kneecapped set the daily record for site visits with 51, the first time this blog has broken the elusive 50 hit barrier. These are heights this blog never even reached during The Great Jessica Simpson Surge of 2006. What is the cause for this sudden rise in popularity? Because Kneecapped is an extremely well written and hilarious blog, that’s why. That and a little post on the Civilian Reserve Corps.

The country is going mad for the Civilian Reserve Corps. Searches for the program are out of control and many find their way to my site, because when you want the low-down on new government initiatives Kneecapped is the place to be. I jest, the country and even Canada loves the Civilian Reserve Corps. Maybe they’re interested because it was hardly explained and is kind of a strange concept. Civilians serving the Army in non-military functions helping them fight the war on terror. This is a great idea. There are lots of people who wish they could do more to help “the cause.” Plus, all those chicken hawks who were screaming for the war in Iraq can now serve the military, perfect. I’m sure, no wait, I’m positive that this program won’t be corrupted at all.

Somewhere George Gaynes Nods His Head in Approval – Kneecapped’s State of the Union Analysis

As a huge fan of “The Unit” I was as disappointed as anyone that the State of the Union Address was airing last night at 9:00 P.M. Not only was I not able to witness the continued decline of William H. Macy’s career (has he turned down a role since Fargo?), but I had to sit through a political speech. And yes, I was a political science major, but only for the chicks.

All kidding aside (except the part about me loving The Unit) I quite enjoy the State of the Union Address. The pomp and tradition, the giddy look on a new Representative’s face when they’re about to shake hands with the President, and the fact that elected officials ask the President for his autograph always brings a smile to my face. This year, however, something else caught my attention.

What caught my attention was Bush’s section on the military. I believe the quote was, “blah, blah, blah, troop levels. Blah, blah, blah recruit more troops. Blah, blah, blah we’re all in danger all the time. Blah, blah, blah civilian reserve corps.” To be honest I wasn't really paying attention until the last line. A Civilian Reserve Corps.

Here’s the real quote:

“A second task we can take on together is to design and establish a volunteer Civilian Reserve Corps. Such a corps would function much like our military reserve. It would ease the burden on the Armed Forces by allowing us to hire civilians with critical skills to serve on missions abroad when America needs them. And it would give people across America who do not wear the uniform a chance to serve in the defining struggle of our time.”

Now, being a child of the HBO era I have a mind that’s been ruined by routine viewing and re-viewing of shit movies. I was also a Political Science major as mentioned before. On top of this I went to UMASS, I write a blog, and I have consumed entirely too much beer in the last 12 years or so. The end result of this potion of underachievement and slackerdom is the fact that my brain functions on a pretty low level, so this is what I was reminded of when President Bush mentioned a Civilian Reserve Corps:

That’s right; I was reminded of Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol. For those with more refined cinematic tastes, Police Academy 4 was the one where Commandant Lassard launches his plan to fight crime: C.O.P, Citizens on Patrol, a police squad made up of regular Joe's. The police recruit a rag-tag team including a huge fat guy, Bobcat Goldthwait, and a trigger happy grandma, comedy gold to be sure. My sides are splitting just thinking about it.

You wouldn’t think a grown man would admit this to World Wide Web, but given the eerie similarities between George W. Bush and Commandant Eric Lassard both in appearance and their “clumsy-idiot-who-somehow-wields-great-power” personas, maybe I’m not giving myself enough credit.