Perk This! (Holds Crotch of Pants)

For some reason this really annoyed me today:


The fact that it's a featured article on Yahoo!, the most visited site on the internet, is beyond belief. Well until you cut through the bullshit and realize it's really just a way to drive traffic to Flickr, and sell cheesy goods to us poor ass cubicle slobs who need troll dolls and paper ribbons to brighten our horrible and mundane working conditions.

For example, the Babble Voice Privacy Machine. If you work in a cubicle should you be dropping $395 on a Babble Voice Privacy Machine? First off, it probably doesn’t work. Second, I usually don't by things that expensive for my apartment and I care about that, screw my cubicle. If you can't stand your co-workers talking then quit. What are you holding on to? And with the $395 you save by not buying this useless device that, I’m no doctor or anything, probably gives you cancer, plenty of time time to find a new job. Probably about a day.

Then there's this needless and wasteful invention

Fuck you Ambient Weather Beacon, fuck you. I don't need to be reminded of how great the weather is that I'm missing while sitting in my fucking cubicle. Why don't they come out with an audio device that plays a live stream of obscenely rich heiresses parting on a yacht in the Mediterranean? That would really knock the point that your life sucks right out of the ballpark.