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Around the corner from my apartment on Myrtle Avenue in Brooklyn.

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Fake Baseball Bets #14: Man, This is a Long Season

We're back and coming off a recent loss last Tuesday dropping our season total to +200 capps.  Today we're placing our third betting on Micah "Payings" Owing and the Reds at +40 versus the Cubbies.  Owings always seems to be a home underdog and we always seem to bet on him.  We're 1-1 and +40 when betting Owings so far this season. 

Penne a la Vodka

Penne a la Vodka
serves 4


1 - 2 tbs of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
4 cloves minced garlic (more or less depending on you)
1 small onion finely diced
1 15 oz. can whole peeled tomatoes
1 15 oz. can of tomato sauce
1/3 - 1/2 cup of vodka
1/2 cup cream or milk
1/2 pack of frozen peas
some thyme, basil, and parsley (fresh if available)
salt (kosher or sea) and pepper to taste
2/3 box of penne

Fill pot with water and put to a flame. Cover and bring to a rolling boil.
Heat extra virgin olive oil at medium in large saute pan.
When oil is hot drop in onion and garlic. Saute until onion is soft.
Add some salt and pepper. Don't burn the garlic.
When garlic and onion are soft and not burned add the vodka. Cook until the vodka reduces.
Cut ends off the whole peel tomatoes and remove seeds. Dice up the tomatoes and add to pan.
When diced tomatoes cook for a minute or two add the can of sauce.
Chop three leaves of basil and a few sprigs of thyme and add to sauce along with some salt and pepper to your liking.

Fresh herbs bring the best taste. In this economy we're growing herbs in our window sill.
Simmer the sauce for a bit to thicken up slightly
When water is boiling salt the water and add the pasta. Cook pasta to el dente
Add peas to the sauce. When peas get to be a bright green add the milk or cream. Stir in peas and milk/cream.
Add pasta to pan, stir it in, and finish cooking the pasta to tendernes of your choice.
Add fresh and chopped parsley, stir in and plate
Top with shredded Parmigiana Reggiana or in this can Romano cheese.
Eat.

Fake Baseball Bets #13: The Grind

Yesterday, we bet the Giants and...won! Damn straight. The lively bat of 76-year-old third baseman Rich Aurilia helped to sink the St. Louis Cardinals 5 - 3. The win payed out 150 doubling our season total which now stands at +300 after 14 wagers.

The season is a grind, and we could sure use a scheduled off day, but we do this for you. Today's abbreviated schedule is a nightmare (pitching form below), but we like the Rockies at +140 to take down Oswalt and the 'Stros. 100 capps on The Mighty Purple and Black.

Sorry, short FBB today, but we'll be posting later.

Fake Baseball Bets #12: Bull Sh!t

Home teams should win games that go to extra innings. Home teams should win games they are leading 3 - 0 after 8 innings. Brain Fuentes, despite his league leading 13 saves, should not be a major league closer. I should be 120 fake dollars richer. These things did not happen last night and the Mariners won the game 4 - 3 in 10 innings. Fuentes's futility chipped 100 capps from our winnings, dropping us to +150 after 13 wagers.

Today we're taking the home-dog Giants at +150 against the Cards. 100 capps on San Fran.

Fake Baseball Bets #11: Something Smells Fishy

Last night we went to a seafood restaurant with our wife, Jodi.  We shared a dozen oysters, she got a lobster roll and glass of white wine, and we had the flounder fish tacos and two Victory Pilsners (not at once).  The lobster roll was "Market Price" so we figured 25 - 35 dollars for the roll.   However, this restaurant is known for their delicious lobster rolls and is parked right in the West Village so any price could have been expected.  When we got our bill it came to 133 dollars, $60 of which accounted for the lobster roll.  We laughed in disbelief, shook our heads, talked about how this dinner was more expensive than our recent anniversary meal, paid the bill, and left.  Shit we thought, New York Fucking City.  

A few steps out the door Jodi says she saw our neighbors bill, a table that ordered two lobster rolls, and that their bill was less than ours. We thought for a minute. They must have charged us for two lobster rolls.  After some time inside Jodi sorted it all out, but we almost just took the damage. Stupid on our part. We should have questioned the price once we got the bill, but though it didn't seem reasonable it also didn't seem like it was out of the realm of possibility.  What does this have to do with Fake Baseball Betting?  It wasn't the only time we overpaid for fish last night.  

The Marlins put up a good struggle, snapped a few steel lines, shook some lures free, but in the end they were caught, stuffed, and mounted on Citi Field's dugout wall.  The crushing blow came on a Santos Al Halper single in the 11th inning.  This sinks our season total +250 capps after 12 wagers.  Still very respectable.  You can buy a little over four $60 lobster rolls with that kind of money! 

Today we're throwing 100 on the home-dog Angels against King Felix and the M's at +120

Fake Baseball Bets #10: Somebody Stop Me!

With topical nineties pop culture references as post headers the last two days it's a wonder more people don't read this blog. Before you know it we'll be writing "What Is The Deal With Danny Haren?" headlines and Hoop will come barreling through the door looking for his Cubans. But in the meantime, don't have a cow, and certainly don't steal my sunshine because we are on a three game winning streak.

The O's won again last night and are playing their best baseball since Brady Anderson patrolled the outfield causing Baltimore women to swoon with is perfectly shaved side-burns and perfectly steroid (maybe) sculpted chest. The win upped our kitty 120 capps leaving us +350 after 11 wagers.

While awake at 5 o'clock this morning we glanced at the pitching form and wanted to place a bet on Lilly and the home-dog Cubbies. However the game is currently scoreless the 6th inning. Instead we'll lay 100 of our hard-gotten gains on the Marlins at +200 against Pelfrey and the Mets. The only other home-dog on the board was Toronto playing against our Sox so we're going for the big payday with Florida.

Fake Baseball Bets #9: We Ain't Going Nowhere We Ain't Going No Where We Can't Be Stopped

...Because it's Bad Boy for life! What, Puff Daddy's the greatest, maybe second greatest rapper of all time? I digress. I'm cranking the late 1990's early 2K shit-hop because we are on what is known in betting circles as a "winning streak." I'll tell you what, the sky maybe overcast this morning but every stratus cloud glistens with sliver. 

The Giants pulled off the win last night on the long, lanky arm of Randy Johnson earning Johnson his 299th career win. This was our personal favorite. The victory earned us 130 bringing the season total after ten wagers to +230 capps. We wish this were real money although if it were we would have quit last week when we were down 230. Gambling is a mercurial mistress.

It's a light Major League schedule today (see pitching form below). 100 capps on the Orioles to continue their winning ways as home underdogs against the Tigers at +120.