Friday, March 30, 2007

Pyramid Mystery Solved?

I saw this interesting article on Yahoo! about a new theory explaining how the pyramids were built. Here's my favorite part:

"Houdin, 56, brushed aside concerns about the popular curse which is supposed to punish those who penetrate the secrets of the pyramids, dating back to the opening of Tutankhamun tomb.

"Why should I be worried? I'm just explaining that the people of the time were architects of genius and that Khufu was a genius to order the pyramid's construction. What could happen to me, except that Khufu would thank me?," he told Reuters shortly before being struck by a bus."

More Q Train Madness

Here's the final installment of my Nikon Coolpix 775/iMovie/Q Train Trilogy.

Peter Travers calls it “An epic tour de force of massive scale. Q Train III explodes off the screen!”

Please enjoy.

If you want to catch the "Empire-esque" middle film of the trilogy you can find it on my Youtube page.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Did I Almost Miss Dude Lighten Up Thursday?

Yes, I did almost miss "Dude Lighten Up Thursday" the most popular and only weekly Kneecapped feature. This week we have Tim Keown of I actually read Tim's "List" column every week, mainly because it's short and good for the bathroom. Tim is an old fashioned contrarian and can find fault in just about anything that's popular, which is fine I guess. His picture, however, is not. Mr. Keown, you are this week's DLUT. How about not looking so smug and lighten up a little?

Dude, lighten up.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

More Fun With Yahoo News

After un-crossing his fingers Mueller added, "We just chose not to."

It's Hard Being a Seal

So, basically what you're saying is our habitat is fucked, but you will continue hunting us. Thanks, as if being a seal weren't hard enough.

Monday, March 26, 2007

The Demise of Kneecapped.

Kneecapped has been on a steady decline the past few months. Most of it is my fault. I was slowing things down and was pretty much on a part time schedule. Then I had my biggest night ever right after the State of the Union Address and I got sucked back into it. Kneecapped is a seductive mistress, she is. This past week, however, has taken a toll on this here site.

First off, I’m going to bitch about Technorati for a minute. Technorati doesn’t credit all of all my links. Geoff has linked to me a bunch of times, but Technorati has not picked up on this and other links as well. I linked to The Bestest Blog of All Time with a promise of getting a link in return. It was a weak moment I know, but I’m a link whore, okay. Sue me. The punishment for my vanity? Technorati has not credited this link either.

Second, Technorati took away three of my links. So what if they were links from porn directories attracted to my blog because of my extensive writings on tapirs and the weirdoes who search for sex photos of the beast? They shouldn’t have taken my links away especially since they don’t credit me for the legitimate sites that link here.

The downfall of Kneecapped doesn’t stop there. What happened next? Well, TrailerSpy, a site I linked to in its infancy because my wife knew the girl who was starting it up, dropped me from their blogroll. They had returned the favor to me adding me to their “Friends of TrailerSpy” list, but I went back on their site and my link is gone. True, my site only gets 20 hits per day and I’m routinely ignored throughout the blogosphere, but does that give you the right to throw me away like so many “Employee of the Month” DVDs? Getting axed from their site, though probably warranted, stings like a bitch.

Lastly, my Google page rank was just downgraded from a “3” to a”2”. If you’re familiar with page rank you know the difference between ranks is infinite. Or in other words, my blog is infinitely less relevant than it was two days ago. Infinitely! In two days!

These are not promising signs for Kneecapped and a wiser man would pack up the mailbag, bid “adieu”, and maybe write for another blog. But what of this other blog you ask? Well, its tied up in legal, but it should be up and running in about 5 - 6 months.

During times like these I like to think back to the immortal words of my man Big Daddy Kane:

“Anything goes when it comes to prose, cuz blogging ain’t easy.” *

*With word play like that it’s a wonder this blog hasn’t taken off. Or is it a wonder that I’m married? Either/or.

The Q Train

Shot yesterday with a Nikon Coolpix 775 camera and edited on iMovie. Enjoy.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

New Template

All I wanted was to have my labels on my front page and now my template is all messed up. Please bear with me, the template you know and love will be new and improved shortly.

Thursday - What to Do? What to Do?

Okay, LOST was on last night so that makes today Thursday. What do I have to do on Thursday? I need to move my car, I know that, but there’s something else, something important. Oh, right, DUDE LIGHTEN UP THURSDAY! That's right, today is once again Dude Lighten Up Thursday, your favorite and only weekly Kneecapped feature.

This week’s DLUT is a first ballot Hall of Famer, go ahead and ask him. He’ll tell you straight out, because he just thinks he’s the best. Welcome to DLUT, Mike Francesa, co-host of Mike and the Mad Dog! Oh, don’t argue baseball with this guy, and don’t go near the horses, because he’s always right and when he isn’t he doesn’t acknowledge it! A brilliant strategy indeed and one I hope to adopt in my own life. No, that wouldn’t put me on the fast track to divorce, are you kidding me? Never admitting when you’re wrong is my new creed. One more fact, did you know that Mike Francesa is the reason the term “blowhard” exists? Look it up, it’s true.

It’s lonely at the top Mike, I know, Kneecapped can relate. Don’t worry, perhaps next week I’ll promote that human nasal passage partner of yours, but for now soak in your glory and maybe lighten up.

Dude, lighten up.

Don't Forget Reggie

I’m not one to pick nits, but this picture of Kevin Durant in a Celtics #35 jersey is an impossibility.

R.I.P. Reggie Lewis.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Kneecapped Gossip Report

I came across this gossip item while perusing Gawker this morning. Can you think of anything more awkward than attending a karaoke party and Lindsay Lohan, an “accomplished” pop singer, keeps getting up to sing without the advantage of a Pro Tools mix and calibrated microphones? Then factor in that her voice is ravaged from drinking, smoking, and snorting everything she could get her hands on over the past few years. Her friends must have a hard time keeping a straight face.

“That was like totally great Lind, you totally sounded like Fiona Apple on that one. You’re like one gifted singer. Yo, can I get a bump?”

“Yeah Lindsay, you’re voice is like just as totally powerful as Christina’s. Yo, can we order bottle service? I need a Red Bull vodka.”

If I were a studio-reliant pop singer the last thing I would consider would be singing karaoke in public. But when you’re a huge attention whore I guess even making a fool of yourself gets you off. See.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Kneecapped on the Wagon: Day 2

The season of resolutions is long behind us, and not to get all Logged Hours on you, but in light of my St. Patrick's Day debauchery Kneecapped is going on the wagon until April 18th. I'm working on my second day, but stay tuned for angry, alcohol deprived posts throughout next month!

New Blogs to Entertain You

Here are few strange and interesting blogs from friends of mine: The Back Of Your Head and Jim Bobby's Blog

Photo of the Day

No, it's not 1977 (or even 2005), but that hasn't stopped the U.S. Postal Service from decorating their mail boxes as R2D2. With non-stop Star Wars marathons airing on the HBO channels, the Trilogy has been making quite the comeback this month.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

St. Patrick's Day Part II: The Day After

St. Patrick's Day was fun. We hung out at Iggy's on Ludlow which had three dollar drafts including delicious Guinness. They also featured three dollar "Drunken Leprechaun" shots which I kept calling "Drunken Irishmen" shots most of the night and definitely offending the Irish bartender. What is a Drunken Leprechaun? It’s Jameson, Bailey's and Crème de Menthe and had the consistency and color of melted mint chocolate ice cream.

And this is what it looked like after drinking it.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Happy St. Patrick's Day Now a Word from Kneecapped

Hi, before I go get wicked frickin' smammered I wanted to post this for you all. I wanted to do it yesterday, but I've been busy and not online all that much. Here goes.

If you haven’t noticed things have been slowing down here at Kneecapped Central, it’s a sad truth. Unfortunately, for you and your boredom this will be an ongoing trend. Not to fear starting Monday you can find me here. I’ll be writing a daily blog on that site which should be pretty much the same type of thing I do here, but everyday and more focused. The site is very interactive so maybe you guys can participate. Anyways, I’ll still be posting here occasionally. I’m also adding advertising to this site. I hope that doesn’t turn you off, but what the hell might as well try and catch some stray fish and make a few cents.

As always, thanks for reading and give my new site a chance, it’s funny.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Kneecapped is Back and He Brought with Him "Dude Lighten Up Thursday!"

It’s Dude Lighten Up Thursday your favorite and only weekly Kneecapped feature. This week’s DLUT is New York Post columnist and all-round curmudgeon Phil Mushnick. Phil writes about media coverage of sports and he’s really not all bad (especially his contempt for ESPN), but this picture is ridiculous. Phil, smile! You’re not being lined up and executed. Stop acting tough because you’re not fooling anyone.

Dude, Lighten Up.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Ft. Browne Park, Brooklyn

Trust me, Ft. Greene Park has looked better.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Dude, Lighten Up Thursday: March Madness Edition

March madness is beginning so let the Duke hating begin! This weeks DLUT is Duke basketball coach and media darling, Mike Krzyzewski.

Dude, lighten up.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

REPORT: Bill Simmons Still Funny

There are a lot of Bil Simmons haters out there, but this made me laugh. You might even say "I laughed out loud."

From this

"He's like a homeless man's Darko Milicic. And that's not a compliment."

C'mon that's funny, AA!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Let's All Go to the Movies

I finally saw David Lynch's INLAND EMPIRE. I don't know about you, but I totally got it. Being the lay folk that you are I'll explain it to you lest you have a blue tomorrow. Here are who each character represents:

The Rabbit People = Jesus, Mary, and Oprah Winfrey
Laura Dern first half of film= Elvis (skinny)
Laura Dern second half of film - Elvis (fat)
Justin Theroux = Carl Yastrzemski (this was a tough one to nail down, but he symbolizes Yaz)
Husband = V. I. Lenin
Phantom = Joseph Stalin
Jeremy Irons = Louis Carroll
Harry Dean Stanton = Ralph Macchio
Crimp = F. Lee Bailey
Julia Ormond = Julia Ormond
Grace Zabriskie = Donna Karen

With this simple guild you will be guaranteed to see the true story. You will dissect every layer and learn every secret. You will understand the film as I do.


Friday, March 02, 2007

What's Arena League Football?

The Arena Football League has some fans I’ll give it that; lonely, sad, bored, nothing better to do on the weekend fans. I'm not one of them, but I wouldn't make fun of anyone who was. The sport just isn't for me. The AFL is a garbage sport much like pro wrestling, tractor pulling, and the NHL, but now that ESPN has the television rights to the Arena League it has become "cool" and "trendy" and "fun" and "exciting". The Worldwide Leader is telling sports fans to care about the AFL, not because it offers a diversion from spending time with your family and an excuse to drink (which has been its appeal in the past), but because it's a true and relevant sport.

The big push is happening with the AFL season about to kickoff. ESPN will force feed its audience the AFL whether we want it or not, they stand to make too much cash. If you watch ESPN you know they excel at one thing: promoting their product, so here's what to expect: They will brag about the ratings no matter how small, Around the Horn and PTI will talk about the league with reverence, and Stu Scott will hype the players to no end. Mike and Mike, the ESPN radio dinks and new AFL announcers already stammer and stutter about the AFL ceaselessly, and today it popped up on's AM JUMP (the poor man's version of the now defunct Daily Quickie). It's just another reason to hate the network I used to love.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

What Day Is It? Dude Lighten Up Thursday That's What Day It Is!

This weeks DLUT is NY Post's sport columnist Kevin Kernan. His Picture always cracks me up and his sometimes surly articles match the photo beautifully. But, Kevin you write about sports for a living, you're not standing in a line-up or posing for your solo rap album. Lighten up!

Dude, lighten up!