Friday, August 18, 2006

Yuppie Battleground Report - Outdoor Seating

I haven't posted in the last few days and to my surprise the world is still turning. However, the overwhelming demand for another post reached its apex. So here we go with the latest Yuppie Battleground Report.

I went to an outdoor bar (not GYC) last night to enjoy a few post-work beverages. As with every place in New York these days the bar was packed with people and seating was in hot demand. Most people at this particular bar share the many large and small picnic style tables, “most people” being the operative term. This one gentleman decided to keep an entire table to himself while “saving” it for his late or perhaps non-existent friends.

“Hi can we sit here?” he was kindly asked.

“Ah, no sorry I’m saving it for my friends. They’ll be here soon,” he replied.

“Are you saving the entire table?” he was asked, this time more firmly.

“Yeah, sorry my friends are on their way and we’ll need the whole table. One is actually inside getting drinks. You know how long the line takes," he explained.

“Yes we’re familiar with the line we come here all the time. But do you really need the whole table?” he said, frustration setting in.

“Yeah, we do. Sorry”

After the couple was relegated to a much smaller table the friend with the drinks did come back to the table. Now it was just two people using a large table, mildly more acceptable.

Over the next 15 minutes or so the two of them proceeded to turn away other requests to share their table, finally giving in to their rudeness by allowing a pregnant woman and her friend to sit at the very edge. How noble of them.

Yes it is true their friends did eventually decided to show up, and it’s also true that it was I who was fetching the drinks from the shamefully slow line, and yes that was my friend rejecting request after request like an Ivy League admissions officer. But when you get a table in this city you need to guard it to the end no matter how much of a dick you feel like. Sorry, but that’s life in the Yuppie Battleground. This may be why “yuppie scum” is such a fun phrase to utter, no matter how hypocritical.

No comments: