Monday, August 28, 2006

Mysteries of Human Biology - Beer Pong Edition

The human body is capable of amazing things when pushed to the limit. Stories of women getting the strength to lift automobiles off there trapped husbands, or the incredible man who cut off his arm with a Swiss army knife to avoid certain death, exemplify the will humans have to survive and succeed. On Friday night I too encountered this will. I won 20 games of beer-pong in a row.

What started out as an innocent and chilly night in Maine quickly morphed into a beer-pong tour de force not seen since the winter of 2000. Now six years older and far removed from my beer-pong playing peak I was touched by greatness once again, this time reaching heights I dared not dream. Winning 20 games in a row.

By win number fifteen I had lost the ability to speak full, intelligible, and lucid sentences, relying mostly on grunts and high-fives to get my point across. Trash talk was out of the question, but when you’re on a winning streak like this one, your shot does all the talking. It was clear that my brain was cutting off my oral capacities and re-routing that energy into my right arm while still saving a little leftover for vision.

By the end of the night my shirt was soaked with beer, my hands were pruned from repeatedly cleaning the ping-pong ball, and we were one cup away from immortality. I squinted hard focusing on the red plastic cup a mere 12 feet away and with a flick of the elbow released my final shot of the night. It flew through the air in a perfect arc heading directly into the middle of the cup, finally landing silently on beer foam. Victory.

There were only 12 or so people there to witness the feat, but in time that number will grow. Everyone will claim to be present on that crisp, late summer, Maine night when the unthinkable happened. The human body is truly amazing.


Jess said...

"finally landing silently on beer foam" is how all sports stories should end. no sorry, how all stories should end.

Rick said...

Thanks, Jess. I'm working on a beer foam mattress. It should be out in time for Christmas.