State of the Union Hall

It’s interesting that Gawker posted about Union Hall today. I went there this past weekend…twice. Embarrassing I know, but once you get the bocce itch you have to scratch it. On Saturday night I went there hoping to play a little bocce with friends, but of course when we got there we were roughly 30^th on the bocce list. So we gave up hope, found a table, and hung out. We learned a few things this first night at Union Hall. The first thing is that the wait staff is utterly miserable. Not at serving--the drinks came promptly--they’re just an unfriendly, depressing lot. They’re rude, don’t thank you for their tips and, in one case, short change you and never return. The second thing you notice is that, yes, it is indeed a homogeneously white crowd. I felt like I was in a bar on Newbury Street in Boston. Not that my group of friends helped the lack of diversity. And who knew The Arcaded Fire was the current style icon of Park Slope?

Being the sucker that I am I lobbied for a return visit the following afternoon. I had a primal urge to play me some bocce. This time the bar wasn’t as crowded. Unfortunately it reminded me of Mos Eisly Space Port populated by douchebag, bocce-snob, yuppie-hipster, Park Slope scum and villainy. Put it this way, there was a guy wearing a sweater vest. The front of the vest was grey with a crest. The back of the vest was blue and black argyle. It was like I’d stepped into a Nantucket yacht club. I finally got on the court, and the guy we were playing against was the biggest dickhead I have ever met. Just an out and out DOUCHE! I won’t get into the boring specifics of the game, but we lost. Want to play some bocce, Arcade Fire?

I won’t be going back to Union Hall ever again. I learned that going to Park Slope on two consecutive days causes one to hate the human race and New York City in general. If you want to play bocce, head to the less pretentious Floyd’s on Atlantic Ave.

Want to play some bocce Arcade Fire?